Is it an addiction to be busy?

Disclaimer: This is a long entry. It's been a while. There's a lot on my mind.


It's been a while since I last posted. Why?

Life. 

Life happens. 

And around these parts, the lane has not been one of leisure.

For the past few months, the hubs and I have been playing a game against the clock. With our schedules being crammed full with activities every night of the week, we have been running wild.

Mondays- Musical Rehearsal until 6:00 (don't leave until 7:00)
Tuesdays- Musical Rehearsal until 6:00 (don't leave until 7:00)
Wednesdays- Musical Rehearsal, OF Rehearsal, sometimes praise team rehearsal, and Overflow College Ministry (usually get home after 11:00pm)
Thursdays- Musical Rehearsal until 6:00; small group at 6:30
Friday, Saturday, Sunday- Jon working job numero dos and me grading papers & cleaning house
Oh yeah...full time jobs on top of this.

Majority of the schedule conflict was due to my co-directing our school's spring musical. This year, our middle school students performed Disney's "High School Musical". Man, did they impress me!

However, in order to produce such a fantastic show, a lot of time, effort, energy, and resources were depleted.

Earlier I wrote about Jon and I leading our church's college ministry last fall. Wow, has it been incredible! God has done AMAZING things in the lives of our students!! We are humbled at the opportunity to serve in this capacity. But I would also be lying if I said we gave it the time and energy we wanted to. Some nights, it was all we could do to just make it to the 8:30 Overflow service. There was a lot of trust in the Holy Spirit to renew and lead.

Our "young professionals" small group started up this past January. It has been so great getting to know the friends in our group! We have each been taking a week to share our life story, our testimonies if you will. It's been so cool to learn where we all come from. We are thankful for this group and the time we share together.

Jon is super involved with the Men's Ministry at the church. He is the "Yes Man", and I admire his leadership capabilities and his servant heart. I am also involved in our church's Women's Ministry. We enjoyed an awesome retreat weekend about a month ago, and I was honored to lead worship for the event. It's amazing to see God changing families' lives in our church body!

As a teacher, the job is never-ending. There's always work to be taken home. I am finishing a fabulous first year of teaching 6th grade, but if I'm honest, there were times I wanted/should've devoted more time to my lessons/grading at home. There has been a constant feeling of "not doing enough" or accomplishing tasks behind schedule. I have now been hired to train principals and leadership teams around the state of Tennessee this summer over our new standards. It's a big job, an exciting opportunity, and I thrive in change...but what was I thinking? The first two training weekends were intense, but I am confident that I can do this.

With our "gazelle-like intensity" (for all you Dave fans out there), Jon is hustling with his second job on the weekends. (Now, we have removed him from the Sunday shift. Long but cool story made short, God revealed to both of us at separate times that we need Jon to be home on Sundays. When he said, "keep The Sabbath holy..." He meant it. And boy, was that a great decision to bring him home.) 

Having said that, "couple time" is rare, and date nights are seldom. And we don't even have babies yet! This has been a challenge. When Jon and I finally see each other at the end of the day, we're spent. We're exhausted. And we're not able to give the best versions of ourselves to each other. (I am the guiltiest party here.)

Sooo...what about family? We live hundreds of miles from our parents, and communication takes time and effort. My brothers are here in Nashville, but for only a short season. Isn't it important to make the most of this time we have together? What about our friends? I am surrounded by incredible friends here in Nashville, and I honestly feel that I have not invested in my friends' lives like I should. What about...us? Our marriage?

As I reflect on our lives and chaotic routine of the past few months, I realize this: None of the activities we're involved in are "bad". In fact most, if not all, of them are "good"; they honor God. However, I also realize that something has to change. It must.

As a single gal, I ran myself into the ground. I was involved in ev-er-y-thing! During those weeks where I was running on mere fumes (okay, Diet Mt. Dew), I kept reminding myself, "This is only for a season; only for (insert time frame here)." But when does this crazy-busy season end?

Now that I'm married, my Type A, control freak, overachieving personality does not only affect my life anymore, but it also reflects my husband's.

Jon is the best husband I could ever ask for. He is my strongest supporter and my biggest cheerleader. He never complains about this crazy life we're living, but I know him well enough to realize that this is the opposite of "thriving conditions" for him. Jon is a home-body. He moves at a slower pace than I do, and he enjoys every season as it comes. He allows time for reflection, and he recognizes the growth taking place. There's quite a neat balance, I believe, between our two personas. So how do we balance it?

Here are my questions: 
How do we get there?
What is the magical balance?
What do we say "no" to?
When is enough truly enough?

I must admit, amidst this running around, my relationship with God has suffered tremendously. Time spent in The Word in the mornings has been shortened, and on some days eliminated, as I crave every extra minute of sleep. Some days the only prayers I prayed were for strength, stamina, and provision. Where's the love? Thankfulness? Praise? 

My heart is heavy. I am feeling so convicted of this "addiction to be busy". 
I am thankful for God's grace to cover m shortcomings!

Here's what The Word says:


Ephesians 5:15-17 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

James 4:13-17 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

In the midst of the Holy Spirit grabbing ahold of my heart, I was reading a great blog that I follow- Elm Street Life. (If you've never checked it out, you should. She's amazing.) She wrote something that I can't get out of my mind. 

The bottom line is this: We are building up a kingdom with our lives- either a kingdom honoring ourselves or a kingdom honoring God. 

What kingdom are we building up?

I think that's the answer to my questions above about what to say "no" to.

Why do I struggle with overcommitment? Because I want to best represent God, or best represent me?
Why do I fill my calendar from sun-up to sun-down? Who am I truly honoring?
When I involve myself, and my family, into new commitments, is God being honored by our lifestyle?

Whew. This got me.

I am still working through these questions, and self-reflection is huge.

I am praying that God will give me discernment about what to say "yes" to, and wisdom to accomplish goals for His glory, and not my own.

It's not easy.


So, how do you do it?

How do you decide what to say "yes" to, and what is out-of-the-question?

Please leave advice in the comments suggestion. I am interested in your thoughts!