Photo Lerve.

I. love. pictures.

My house is covered in all kinds of photos- framed photos, photo collages, polaroids, gallery wraps, photo Christmas cards still on the fridge...you name it.

Whatever the occasion, my iPhone is in my hand, ready to snap a pic of the moment. You know, for Instagram purposes!

But can I be honest?

It's rare that I like myself in photos.

You know- it has to be taken from the left side, because that's my "good side".

I need the angle taken from above- that way it's slimming.

I need you to count to three, so I can get ready.

Forget candids; they're a nightmare.

(Any other sisters feel what I'm sayin'? Why do we do this to ourselves?!)


Recently I asked my cousin, Katie, to take some headshots of me. I needed some shots for work, for my blog, my LinkedIn (oh, I sound official now!), but also just for fun. I was excited that she was excited for the shoot.

We met downtown, on Nashville's Pedestrian Bridge, after work one night. Let me tell you something- we had so much fun. She is so great to work with, and she's crazy talented! She makes the session fun, calms you, encourages you, helps you, and really has an incredible talent for capturing the best you in the moment.

She's. Amazing.

Yes, she's my sister-cousin, so of course I'm biased.

But check out her website and see for yourself!

katewhitmore.com

Nashville friends, WHEN you book her, tell her Mal sent you. :)


Here's some eye candy for you.

When He speaks freedom.

The following has been The Lord's Word for me during this past season of change. The entire chapter comes off the page at me. 

It's. so. good. 

I invite you to read it- in its entirety. For this post's sake, I have highlighted my most favorite lines.

Psalm 37

Of David.

5 3 Trust in the Lord and do good;
    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him;

17 

The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

2539 

The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord;
    he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
⁴⁰ The Lord helps them and delivers them;
    he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
    because they take refuge in him.

This passage is where my scripture memorization is coming from these days. Pulling this passage about, piece by piece; I can't get enough.

You see, for about a year now, I felt God prepping me for something. I didn't know what- but I knew it would be totally different than what I was used to. I knew He was calling me to get ready. 

At the end of May, an unexpected opportunity was presented to me. It was something that I was truly so excited about; almost to the point of not believing it could be true. They were asking ME to accept this position. Me! And at such an unexpected time!

I took the next month to make my decision- Jon and I prayed, we crunched numbers, we dreamt about a different future for our family, we made plans. As the excitement fluttered in my heart, the fear also billowed up in my stomach. Fear of change. Fear of provision. Fear of... health insurance?

You see, I have Type 1 Diabetes. One of the perks of teaching in my county was the incredible health benefits. For diabetic teachers, they covered all cost at 100%! That was unheard of, and I knew that no other career (or county) would provide that.

I audibly heard God say to me, "Am I not bigger than BlueCross?" Sounds silly now, right? But at the time, the fear was very real. And this new opportunity revealed just how deep that fear ran. 

Have you ever prayed for peace over a situation, but it didn't come right away? Have you ever asked God for His guidance, knowing all the while He was already leading? Has God ever asked you to just trust- commit to Him first and foremost?

Now that I'm able to look back on the situation, I realize God was speaking the whole time. I was praying over and over again, but my prayers were drowning out His words. 

"Be still, and know that I am God."

"Wait patiently for me."

"Commit your way to me, and I will do this..."

"Delight in Me. I will make your steps firm."

My God began to flood my mind with memories of times when He had provided, been faithful, guided. He reminded Me how GOOD He is. And He challenged me to trust Him.

Trust.

Commit.

God, I need peace about this situation!

Give me your desires.

I want to follow You!

Commit your way to me.

I need your peace!

Recognize I am who I say I am.

One afternoon, when I knew it was time to make my decision, I spent a couple hours on the phone with health insurance companies. The numbers and jargon had finally got the best of me. Here it came- anxiety began to flood my body.

In a refusal to let the enemy take me down, I put everything aside. I turned on my worship music, and I began to sing. I prayed. I sang some more.

Through tears running down my cheeks, I whispered, "Okay God. You've never left us hanging before. You are the Provider. You are Faithful. You are Good. You are Gracious..."

I began to relive life experiences when God knocked my socks off. My whisper grew louder. Stronger.

"I trust you, God. I commit my way to You. I believe this opportunity is from you, and I accept it. We will go where you're calling us. Yes, God!"

And you know what? That peace that I had prayed over for a month, but had yet to experience it- that peace came over me. It flooded my living room. My somber prayers became a moment of dancing for my Lord, all over the house!

That fear that had taken over my mind was released. Freedom! 

When God speaks freedom over His people, it's not just over the unsaved. He speaks freedom over the bondage that we place over ourselves every day, sometimes unknowingly so!

I so loved my years as a teacher. I was blessed beyond expectation with coworkers, administration, students, and parents. I changed my career without malice intent or regret. God had been prepping; He was moving in me. 

And I accepted this new life change with true peace and abandonment of fear.

He's still prepping, you know. I realize I have not arrived yet. This year I am the newb. I am learning. And I am loving every minute.

God, I don't know where we're going. But I trust You completely.

There is such freedom in those words.

summer 2013 recap...in photos

Is it an addiction to be busy?

Disclaimer: This is a long entry. It's been a while. There's a lot on my mind.


It's been a while since I last posted. Why?

Life. 

Life happens. 

And around these parts, the lane has not been one of leisure.

For the past few months, the hubs and I have been playing a game against the clock. With our schedules being crammed full with activities every night of the week, we have been running wild.

Mondays- Musical Rehearsal until 6:00 (don't leave until 7:00)
Tuesdays- Musical Rehearsal until 6:00 (don't leave until 7:00)
Wednesdays- Musical Rehearsal, OF Rehearsal, sometimes praise team rehearsal, and Overflow College Ministry (usually get home after 11:00pm)
Thursdays- Musical Rehearsal until 6:00; small group at 6:30
Friday, Saturday, Sunday- Jon working job numero dos and me grading papers & cleaning house
Oh yeah...full time jobs on top of this.

Majority of the schedule conflict was due to my co-directing our school's spring musical. This year, our middle school students performed Disney's "High School Musical". Man, did they impress me!

However, in order to produce such a fantastic show, a lot of time, effort, energy, and resources were depleted.

Earlier I wrote about Jon and I leading our church's college ministry last fall. Wow, has it been incredible! God has done AMAZING things in the lives of our students!! We are humbled at the opportunity to serve in this capacity. But I would also be lying if I said we gave it the time and energy we wanted to. Some nights, it was all we could do to just make it to the 8:30 Overflow service. There was a lot of trust in the Holy Spirit to renew and lead.

Our "young professionals" small group started up this past January. It has been so great getting to know the friends in our group! We have each been taking a week to share our life story, our testimonies if you will. It's been so cool to learn where we all come from. We are thankful for this group and the time we share together.

Jon is super involved with the Men's Ministry at the church. He is the "Yes Man", and I admire his leadership capabilities and his servant heart. I am also involved in our church's Women's Ministry. We enjoyed an awesome retreat weekend about a month ago, and I was honored to lead worship for the event. It's amazing to see God changing families' lives in our church body!

As a teacher, the job is never-ending. There's always work to be taken home. I am finishing a fabulous first year of teaching 6th grade, but if I'm honest, there were times I wanted/should've devoted more time to my lessons/grading at home. There has been a constant feeling of "not doing enough" or accomplishing tasks behind schedule. I have now been hired to train principals and leadership teams around the state of Tennessee this summer over our new standards. It's a big job, an exciting opportunity, and I thrive in change...but what was I thinking? The first two training weekends were intense, but I am confident that I can do this.

With our "gazelle-like intensity" (for all you Dave fans out there), Jon is hustling with his second job on the weekends. (Now, we have removed him from the Sunday shift. Long but cool story made short, God revealed to both of us at separate times that we need Jon to be home on Sundays. When he said, "keep The Sabbath holy..." He meant it. And boy, was that a great decision to bring him home.) 

Having said that, "couple time" is rare, and date nights are seldom. And we don't even have babies yet! This has been a challenge. When Jon and I finally see each other at the end of the day, we're spent. We're exhausted. And we're not able to give the best versions of ourselves to each other. (I am the guiltiest party here.)

Sooo...what about family? We live hundreds of miles from our parents, and communication takes time and effort. My brothers are here in Nashville, but for only a short season. Isn't it important to make the most of this time we have together? What about our friends? I am surrounded by incredible friends here in Nashville, and I honestly feel that I have not invested in my friends' lives like I should. What about...us? Our marriage?

As I reflect on our lives and chaotic routine of the past few months, I realize this: None of the activities we're involved in are "bad". In fact most, if not all, of them are "good"; they honor God. However, I also realize that something has to change. It must.

As a single gal, I ran myself into the ground. I was involved in ev-er-y-thing! During those weeks where I was running on mere fumes (okay, Diet Mt. Dew), I kept reminding myself, "This is only for a season; only for (insert time frame here)." But when does this crazy-busy season end?

Now that I'm married, my Type A, control freak, overachieving personality does not only affect my life anymore, but it also reflects my husband's.

Jon is the best husband I could ever ask for. He is my strongest supporter and my biggest cheerleader. He never complains about this crazy life we're living, but I know him well enough to realize that this is the opposite of "thriving conditions" for him. Jon is a home-body. He moves at a slower pace than I do, and he enjoys every season as it comes. He allows time for reflection, and he recognizes the growth taking place. There's quite a neat balance, I believe, between our two personas. So how do we balance it?

Here are my questions: 
How do we get there?
What is the magical balance?
What do we say "no" to?
When is enough truly enough?

I must admit, amidst this running around, my relationship with God has suffered tremendously. Time spent in The Word in the mornings has been shortened, and on some days eliminated, as I crave every extra minute of sleep. Some days the only prayers I prayed were for strength, stamina, and provision. Where's the love? Thankfulness? Praise? 

My heart is heavy. I am feeling so convicted of this "addiction to be busy". 
I am thankful for God's grace to cover m shortcomings!

Here's what The Word says:


Ephesians 5:15-17 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

James 4:13-17 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

In the midst of the Holy Spirit grabbing ahold of my heart, I was reading a great blog that I follow- Elm Street Life. (If you've never checked it out, you should. She's amazing.) She wrote something that I can't get out of my mind. 

The bottom line is this: We are building up a kingdom with our lives- either a kingdom honoring ourselves or a kingdom honoring God. 

What kingdom are we building up?

I think that's the answer to my questions above about what to say "no" to.

Why do I struggle with overcommitment? Because I want to best represent God, or best represent me?
Why do I fill my calendar from sun-up to sun-down? Who am I truly honoring?
When I involve myself, and my family, into new commitments, is God being honored by our lifestyle?

Whew. This got me.

I am still working through these questions, and self-reflection is huge.

I am praying that God will give me discernment about what to say "yes" to, and wisdom to accomplish goals for His glory, and not my own.

It's not easy.


So, how do you do it?

How do you decide what to say "yes" to, and what is out-of-the-question?

Please leave advice in the comments suggestion. I am interested in your thoughts!